The Boat That Rocks

Sunday Tribune 17 January, 2010


Did I ever tell you I once skated from England to Spain? Then took a break for some rock-climbing at Gibraltar? Oh, and I surfed from there to Rome?" It would be an interesting conversation-stopper to hit the grandkids with. And technically it would be true. The Independence of The Seas has an ice rink, rock-face and surfing deck included in its many amenities – and I mean many amenities.
The second largest cruise ship in the world is a staggering sight, with its 15 passenger decks and towering funnel. If it was turned on its bow, it would be taller than the Eiffel Tower. Not that you'd want to see it turned on its bow. Remember Titanic?
It's so massive that our main concern was whether it would swallow us up. Would it be so colossal and impersonal that our fortnight would be spent endlessly queuing? Could it manage 4,000 passengers and still have room for the finer touches?
The first hint of an answer came when we noticed that the day of the week was printed on the carpets in the lifts. Why bother? We found out the reason later in the week.
We were booked into a third-deck Ocean View state room which had a wide, fixed porthole at the bed head. The Balcony rooms above are airier but being able to prop your pillow against the porthole and watch the waves below wasn't a bad trade-off. There's adequate storage, a compact bathroom, a minibar and TV. You won't use the latter though. There's too much to see.
We went for a ramble on deck. It was a grey day but the bright blues and yellows of the pool, and the pinks and oranges of the cocktails, gave Southampton an almost tropical feel.
Drinks in hand we leaned on the handrail as the Isle of Wight drifted away and… nearly leaped overboard when the ship's horn sounded. The Independence's klaxon, like the rest of the ship, is CAPITAL LETTERS throughout. It bellows: 'LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!'
Rattled, we headed to the top of the ship to see the sporting facilities. Above us, helmeted passengers picked their way up a man-made rockface several thousand miles high (43ft). Others ran about in the hockey and basketball courts. A few teenagers queued for the FlowRider – a wave simulator for deck-top surfboarding. It packs a punch and watching cocky teenagers being flung about by the force of its water was excellent entertainment. We bravely opted for mini-golf instead.
The sea air builds up a great appetite, which is good as there's food everywhere. There are 10 eateries to choose from and even a self-service frozen yoghurt machine by the pools. Above it, there's a running track. If you want to annoy smug joggers, place your sun lounger across it and sit there licking your ice cream. I did.
One of the worries about cruising is that you'll be stuck sharing a table with a stranger who picks their teeth or won't stop talking at you. The main dining area also has just two sittings (6.30pm and 8.45pm), which may not suit, either. The plus side is that the food here is excellent and elegantly served. There are alternatives, however. The vast Windjammer and Jade buffets serve food almost all around the clock. This is heaven, with everything from roasts to veggie meals, Asian, pizzas, fruit, burgers and salads.
There is also the excellent, if formal, Portofino Italian restaurant and Chops Grille and Johnny Rocket's diner which all have a surcharge.
We opted for My Time Dining, which meant we could book a table for two at any time in the main restaurant. To do this, you will have to agree in advance to pay your tips (see panel), but we felt it was worth it.
There's no shortage of after-dinner entertainment. The live shows in the 1,200-seat theatre are Broadway quality, if you like that sort of thing. There's also a casino, movies, live game shows and ice-skating performances.
There are 14 bars, featuring various forms of live entertainment from the excellent Schooners and Bolero music lounges to a not-so-excellent 'English Pub' called the Dog and Badger. This is in the centre of the ship on the Royal Promenade, which is a 'main street' with cafes, wine bars shops, boutiques and souvenir market stalls.
The patrons of the D and B sat outside it as if they were on their hols in Fuengirola. Now, I'm not a snob me, but… actually I am a snob. I can't understand why anyone would go on a cruise and spend it below deck in a mock 'pub'.
As the ship sails from Southampton it's understandable that a lot of the entertainment is geared towards the English, but it got a bit grating after a while. One Union-Jacked, 'Knees Up Muvver Brahhhhnnnn' night on the Promenade was so 'geezer-ish' we ran screeching to our cabin. A Norwegian couple we later befriended asked us if they had wandered onto the set of EastEnders.
From Southampton we travelled to Vigo in north Spain, Lisbon, Cadiz, Cagliari then on to Italy taking in Rome, Florence and Pisa, back to Cannes and Gibraltar and then home.
There is a drawback with cruising on a ship this size. If you like to explore then this is not the ideal way to do it as time is tight at each destination. This is more of a 'tasting menu' cruise than a slap-up European meal.
It's actually tempting just to stay on board – there's so much to do that the ship is a 'destination' in its own right. Sports, gaming, line-dancing classes, quizzes, seminars... Best of all, there's lying by the pool eating ice cream.
Parents can happily dispose of their offspring (not overboard, that's not allowed) in the kid's amusement centre and not see them for two weeks, if they like. There is a water park, the H2O Zone, and the activities rota will make their little heads spin.
Once they're out of the way you're free to have a quiet drink or go a few rounds in the gym's boxing ring with your spouse. Alternatively, you can just sit still and watch the sun go down over north Africa on a balmy evening, while distant forest fires light up the sky over Spain, as we did. (We were celebrating a significant anniversary.)
We thoroughly enjoyed our time on the Independence, which is skippered by the affable Teo Strazicic – a gifted artist in his spare time. He and his staff have turned an extraordinary vessel into an organic, living one. All the finer details are taken care of, right down to the 'weekday' carpets in the lifts. Remember them? As time progresses you get so relaxed you lose track of the days. It's a subtle touch, but…
If you want an alternative holiday, scything through the waves in five-star luxury, then this is highly recommended. It's particularly well-suited for groups of friends or families.
Be aware though, with increased discounting, cruising may be losing its 'exclusivity', if that's what you're looking for.
Was the Independence of the Seas too big and impersonal? Definitely not. It felt a lot smaller as I hauled myself down the gangway – but then I was a lot bigger. I blame all those ice creams by the pool.

Tipping

The work ethos on board the Independence is American and therefore tipping is expected. This is a source of annoyance for many non-Yanks. Last year Royal Caribbean said staff received far less tips when British passengers were on board.
The company is looking at addressing the issue for the Southampton run.
Whatever you feel about it, the staff work extremely hard and depend on their tips. Allow €11.50 per passenger, including children, per day for cabin and restaurant staff. 15% is automatically added to drinks. Booze isn't cheap, so be careful.