Unwrapping some good news amidst all the gloom

Sunday Tribune 22 November

The rain is streaming down my coat and into my shoes. My collar is drenched and there's a drip on the end of my nose. I'm broke. The only thing rattling in my pockets are my keys. I am walking through soggy Dublin thinking of Donie Cassidy.
One of the reasons I am thinking of Donie is because I've forgotten to bring something to cover my head. The other is to do with something he said in the Seanad. He, and some of his colleagues, believe the media is responsible for the grim state of the nation. Senator Anne Ormonde says the press is "creating so much gloom that it is depressing those in the world outside".
Donie's solution is to get broadcasters to "give us 30 minutes of good news every day" as a tonic. Suddenly a lightbulb has switched on over my head: maybe Donie's right. So I start flicking through the week to find something positive to write about for a change.
Ireland is no longer corrupt, according to new figures released by Transparency International.
That's good, isn't it? Or does it just mean there's less money around to steal?
Irish writer Colum McCann has won the top prize for fiction at the US National Book Awards. Great but, well, it's hardly going to overshadow our World Cup heartache, is it?
Brian Lenihan has 'scored' a victory over AIB by making it accept the €500,000 salary cap. That's good, isn't it, Donie? If you ignore the Financial Times poll that rated him Europe's worst finance minister. See, Donie, it's hard to find something positive to write about.
Another lightbulb goes on over my head. I look up: Miriam O'Callaghan has switched on the Christmas lights on Henry Street. Or 'Hahnry' Street as she calls it.
Finally, something positive to report: the lightening of Dubliners' moods by something simple and free. I am a boy again in town with mum, dad and sisters, looking at the Moore Street stalls as ould wans sing "Annywan for de last of de Cheeky Charlies?" Gaudy beads of yellow, blue and green light shiver between the lamp posts. Sleet spits at us, but we hardly notice: we are too excited at the prospect of seeing Santa in Arnotts. Afterwards, there will be coffee, cake and the unwrapping of colouring books and plastic crappery which will break, like the Cheeky Charlie, on the way home.
Walking south across the bridge, we wonder what herky-jerky robotic wonderland waits for us in Switzers' snow-sprayed window.
Memory is a great bolthole. There's no entrance charge and looking back beats looking forward into an uncertain future. If I sound like I'm going soft, I'm not. Even cynics need a break sometime.
In previous years I've given out about Christmas coming too early. Last November, mayor Eibhlin Byrne lit the city's tree at the start of the month. This was to encourage us to do our "civic duty" and spend our money in Dublin, not Newry.
I wrote a column telling her to stop turning Retail Therapy into Retail Guilt. If Dublin wanted my money, then its merchants should lower their prices. Groceries were 28% cheaper up north.
This year, Mary Coughlan led the patriotic charge. She said cross-border shoppers are supporting "her majesty's government". I thought we'd moved on from that "Crown Forces" rhetoric. The war is over, minister.
Although her faux-republicanism is annoying, I agree with Coughlan in principle. Not about ropey patriotism but about our economic reality – 250,000 southern households are shopping over the border (TNS Worldpanel). It doesn't take a genius – and Coughlan's no genius – to see how this affects our tax take.
Southern retailers can't win a price battle with the north. Running a business here is more expensive, between energy costs, Vat and exchange rates. They are trying, though. The National Consumer Agency says prices are continuing to fall.
It's no longer a case of "them and us". Retailers are now as jiggered as the rest of us. They may have fleeced us in the past, but I don't like seeing businesses go to the wall.
Unlike last Christmas, Dublin City Council deserves some credit this year. It's easing the idiotic bus corridor on College Green for the festive period and providing 1,400 free parking spaces.
The city's merchants have started to show some civic spirit too. In 2006, 30% of them were unwilling to fund the Christmas lights. This year, they've paid to illuminate six new streets.
All that said, I'm not telling anyone where to shop. It's a matter of conscience and means.
If you decide to head north, the best of luck to you. I won't see you there, though. I've decided to spend less this Christmas – and to spend it locally.
So there you are, Donie. I've tried to write a positive column this week. I'm giving Dublin my business and thanking its retailers for temporarily blinding me, with Christmas lights, to the rain, the soccer etc.
Why don't you come and see the lights with me, Donie? You've a day off on Tuesday because of the Oireachtas strike, haven't you? Tell you what, come to O'Connell Street this evening instead to watch the lighting of the tree.
Damn it, hang on a minute, more bad news: wasn't it made in France?

dkenny@tribune.ie